. . . And the Bridesmaid Wore Black*
[*Because the Bride Told Her To.]

By Alison L. Roberts

Up to this point in my life, I've pretty much been able to avoid them like the plague. My sorority sister and former roommate Laura broke me in a few years ago: I actually made it to her ceremony and stayed through the entire reception. I'm positive — to this day — she has no idea how big of an accomplishment this was: I'd previously been known as the "gift-dropper-offer." (i.e., I'd always send a gift, but manage to miss the actual event due to work or some family thing.)

Since then, I've grown older, a little wiser and (I hope) a lot more mature.

This is why, when my former roommate Jennifer asked me if I'd be in her wedding party (and maid of honor!), saying "no" wasn't an option. After all, she is the one of all of my college buddies that I consider truly a "sister," in the ooey-gooey sense they go on and on about during sorority rush. She's been my friend through the long haul. She's earned her "family" status time and again over the years.

Neither of us truly knew what speed bumps we'd all have to barrel over on the way to getting her to that altar, but the end result was both beautiful and memorable. I'm honored to have played a part in her special day.

As such, I feel a little obligated to pass on some survival tips to other wedding chick(en)s…

- If your bride-type person is kind enough to choose bridesmaids dresses in a sane color, like black, thank your lucky stars and resist the temptation to joke about your "goth" wedding ensemble in front of people who have no sense of humor. (I, personally, really like the idea of a "gothic" bridal party, but it sets some people on edge.)

- Footwear is very important. If the bride is smart enough to wear jazzy tennis shoes under her ballgown for the reception, you may pass go and buy yourself cool footwear, too. (At least, that's the excuse I used for going ahead and snagging the awesome boots I found on sale a just two miles from my hotel and the church.)

- Designate a mental "happy" place, go there and just smile. It's O.K. if people look at you and wonder why you've got a cheesy grin on your face. (I've decided over the last few months my happy place is the Swarovski jewelry counter.)

- Finally, remember that a lot of the extra stuff that seems important is kind of equivalent to an awards ceremony: It takes place after the couple has already won the prize.

Jennifer, John, if you two ever read this: Congratulations!
(And don't forget that every once and a while, I have dibs on your guest room.)